I would never have suspected I had slipped into caretaker burnout, mostly because I didn't know what to watch for. I've always been somewhat of a hermit, preferring to stay in my house most of the time. I've never been a social butterfly so it seemed natural to me to not want to go anywhere. I also didn't want to do anything. I had no energy, no desire to get out of bed. No desire to get out of my chair. It even pissed me off to have to get up to go pee.
My intentions were to go out everyday when I had someone here for Alan. First day…I didn't do it. I told myself it was probably better for me to stay until he got used to having someone else here. I went back to bed while caretaker (CT) was here.
Second time….stayed home with CT. Told myself I just wanted to visit with CT because she was so interesting. Went back to bed again.
Day 3…didn't want to have to do my hair. Did it and went to visit my pastor-sergeant-friend. Enjoyed it.
Monday, Day 4…Didn't want to have to do my hair again. Just too tired and don't care.
Wednesday, Day 5…My 12-step sponsor actually hollered at me over the phone, ordering me to "GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE." I dragged my feet but finally got my hair done and went to see same friend I saw on day 3.
On the way home some of the cobwebs began to disappear and I decided I felt good enough to go buy some new phones because my house phones had died. Did that. Decided to go see about joining a gym. Checked a place where I could afford to take Alan to exercise. OOPS! Time for CT to go home.
I went and picked up Alan and we went to the market.
Thursday is not a respite day but I got up and could tell immediately I was beginning to feel better. By Friday, I was up and out of the house right after CT arrived.
Monday went to visit a friend.
Tuesday made arrangements to take Alan to some Yoga and Zumba Gold classes. Don't know if Alan can do the Zumba but he always loved to dance. Think he'll love it and he'll get exercise he needs.
Getting ready to sign myself up at the gym where they have machines I can use. It's right across the street from Alan's yoga classes. Caretaker can take Alan to his classes while I'm exercising at the gym. How cool!
I should have checked to see what caretaker burnout was. I really thought they were talking about turning into a screaming maniac and I didn't have that problem. I was just sinking deeper into myself and had absolutely no energy. I finally got where I couldn't write my blogs. I'm grateful to be out of the burnout. I won't let myself fall into that trap again.
And I'm back to blogging again which I really enjoy.
I had friends who offered to stay and let me out of the house for a while. I always turned down the opportunity….guilt? Probably. But then I really thought I was fine.
A word of warning: You'll be doing yourself a favor if you prevent burnout instead of trying to SNAP OUT of burnout.