This whole alzheimer's thing has certainly been a learning experience. One thing I've learned is how little I know. Now that's quite a leap for someone…uh…like me…who thought they knew pretty much everything. I figured I would have no problem communicating with Alan. That was my first clue that I didn't know everything.
Alan was an intelligent man, an award winning writer with an admirable vocabulary. I've always been somewhat of a wordsmith myself, with a large speaking vocabulary. We both were political animals, I more than him, but it was a favorite subject when we talked. We were involved. Both of us voracious readers. Both of us written more than one newspaper column for years.
We both appreciated more than one type of music. While not a deep love match, it was a good friendship.
Not realizing that alzheimer's was rearing it's ugly head, the friendship was the first thing to go. We were living in the same house, but had actually split sometime in 2003. I was content with the arrangement and so was he. We lived somewhat separate lives, him living on one end of the house and me on the other. Then things took a nose dive. He began to rummage through my things. I had no privacy. I couldn't live with what I interpreted as total disrespect. He had lost both of his jobs. I felt like I was losing my mind. And he was reverting to some old behaviors that I refused to live with.
By the time I filed for divorced, the friendship was laying in tatters.
It was about this time an acquaintance mentioned how sorry he was to hear Alan had alzheimer's. That was my "heads up" moment, and several months later he was finally diagnosed. And that explains how I missed all of the early signs that had apparently been creeping up for several years. If we had a closer relationship, I might have spotted it sooner but maybe ignorance was bliss.
So why write this today? Maybe I'm tired and decided to reflect and maybe I just needed to dump on someone. Are there funny things I could write. Oh yeah there are but I'm just too tired to start this blog over today.
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